aH LaN's DrEaM

Changes = Adaption

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 02:43:20 GMT

I change job almost every year. I realize changing job and workplace requires new adaptation of skills and environment. Everytime i am always the new bird at work. I am never the old bird. Why do i have to change job? Reason: I am always in need of more cash in hand. Haiz.....how i wish i ned not feed this stupid car. It's bringing me a big burden. No matter how i try to pursuade my parents that i want a smaller car, their mind is there's no reason for me to do so. When i opt for a bgger car, they say it's too expensive. Sometimes, i wonder why or what i am living for in this family? Why do i have a girlfriend? I mean do i really think that i have the money and energy to start a family? Every month, i m earning money so as to reward others. "WHAT BOUT ME?!" Why am i always giving in to everyone in this world?

I am working for myself, earning my own pay, giving what is enough to others, saving the rest for my own luxury and savings.

I simply want a new car that doesn't CREAKS when driving. A girlfriend that earns enough for herself, sometimes treat each other for meals, and save money together. A father that motivates his son to be a better man, doesn't gamble all day long, talks to me, feel what i really need, be a small-time businessman. My mum is getting better nowadays, she seldom grumble to me about her complains anymore. However, i know she is nv happy. Eversince the day when my sis ran away, the day when my father regains his gambling habit and third party, when she realize i can't or duno how to save in my spendings. She knows i m not a worthy son to be proud of. I knew it as well...i m not...i can't be...i ned to sit back and realize what i really want. Why is it that people around me always wants more from me, and i m always willing to give in to them. I feel like a coward! I need to stand up for myself. I need to know that i earn not for others, not work for others. I can't forever be caring! WHO is going to care for me?! When is the world going 2 stop grumbling?! I always feel a constant grumblings at my ear. A constant dishappiness about me when i see others. Am i not doing or contirbuting enough alr!? AM I A PUNCHING BAG TO YOU?

Waiting to buy a new car

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 01:46:08 GMT

The wishlist i have are endless. But iknow..non of them can be fulfilled. Bcos by granting myself one of the wishes....it will mean the death of many compulsory responsibilities i carry every month. How i wish i can earn more...but in times like this.....i tink i will just sit back and enjoy the monthly pay. Phew......tired body.....

feeling job insecure

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 02:40:32 GMT

The working life is getting more intense. Every seconds...u hear rumors...u see long faces...u know it's coming. Every action...u fear the news of being fired!

Oops....gt2 work..else chiam.

Something very wrong....

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 04:19:32 GMT

yes....i hate this feeling. The point whereby you know there's really nothing to do. You sit around, looking at the ceiling. Wondering if this is the right job and role to do in this company. Haiz....how i wish i can do something now.

lost in silence

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 19:14:49 GMT

listening to the music from adeline iPod, I was thinking of someone. A person who has left me n the gang for 1 year. The sudden surge to blog n remind mysef that he is still missed.haiz...incredible that I manage 2 blog using this iPod. So what is still stopping our friendship to last only for so short? Why can't everyone know when they are dying? There's so many problem, how I wish he was here to listen n confide n mayb giv me a solution. Gys I miss u..... Tkc my friend.

a dark secret

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 05:27:22 GMT

yes..it has been a dark secret. However i know it wun affect my job performance. Yet...i couldn't help but feel crappy. My life is transforming slowly to monotonous. I think i should buck up and find something tat i love to do.

So any mahjong ppl out there? Sian....just discover that i need to find more cash intake. Else wat if something happen to my company? How will i feed myself and family and car?

No friends....no money

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 09:26:21 GMT

Sigh...basically it's all bout work. I find really little or should i say hard to organise an outing with my close friends. Since i quit billard and drinking beers, i nv really meet up wif most of my friends. It was like a switch off button. Is it that our life is too engross in saving money for our future weddings? Basically at this age, all of us feel insufficient in cash flow. There must be a trick to saving and yet spending wisely with friends.

Sigh....staying home again every wkend. Almost entirely doing the same thing for a year already. I think most of singaporeans are doing that, we need to save and be thrifty, we just mite not know when is our next paycut.

yawn...psp time.

translation

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 08:30:19 GMT

Frustrated with translations? Fear not!

http://translate.google.com/

stiff economiy

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 07:23:00 GMT

Quiet times....hmm...or isit that i have nothing much 2 do nowadays? I really wonder what can i be of use now? I couldn't help but feel useless. Hmm...time to do something. Asap...

Just finish mahjong session wif the gang on friday midnite. Phew...my ski.ls have up or isit that luck has change sinc i am in kok's house. Haha...anyway thanks to wikipedia mahjong and my collegue.

Mahjong Fanatics

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 15:57:33 GMT

Yo...Singapore Mahjong rules? How diff can it be? and what kind of rules exist?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singaporean_Mahjong_scoring_rules

Hope you like it.